There’s really nothing worse than calling it quits on a long term relationship.
For a while it’ll hurt like a beyatch, you’ll cry so much that you turn into a dehyreated raisin of a human being, and there’s just not enough ice cream in the world to make things feel better until you start to move on.
But it’s important to remember that time is a magical healer and when you’re unhappy with your situation, it’s always better in the long run to face up to the problem and do something about – it for the sake of your own happiness.
Not that we wanna hit you with the tough love, but if it ain’t meant to be then it ain’t meant to be, and kinda like ripping off a plaster, sometimes it’s just better to get these things over with as quickly as poss.
If you’re spending 24/7 wondering whether they’re really the one for you, here’s 10 pretty clear signs that it’s probably time to just break up tbh.
That little nose wrinkly thing they always do, the way they leave teabags all over the kitchen, every time they forget you’ve got that date planned… They might have been adorable novelties at the beginning, but if you now see them as the very worst and most annoying of habits, then it could be a warning sign.
The chances are that the idea of ending things seems pretty terrifying to you, so often people will become fixated on the smaller things instead in order to avoid the bigger matter at hand.
If their personal habits are driving you crazy, it might be time to call it quits. Because, y’know… you shouldn’t actually hate your partner. Just as a fundamental rule.
Back in the early days, you were living in each other’s pockets, going on all sorts of fun dates and putting them before everybody else. Over time, it’s common for this excitement to dwindle off a little – but a boyfriend or girlfriend in a happy relationship should be someone you at least want to spend SOME time with.
You might not be actively avoiding them, but you might be starting to realise that you don’t actively try to put time aside for them either.
When friends (or even a solo Netflix sesh) constantly seem like the better option, you’re basically making the choice to not be with them – so maybe it’s not as special to you as you first thought.
There absolutely does not have to be a white meringue dress, a twin buggy and a two bedroom semi-detatched in your future any time soon.
But if you’ve been together for a decent amount of time and there’s been no progress in how serious things have become between you, it could be a hint that the relationship isn’t destined to progress any further.
Whether you’re still not living together after almost a decade, or whether it’s earlier days and they’re just making excuses about things like introducing you to their family, that big ‘future chat’ is probably being avoided for a reason.
When you relate on a spirtual level to Swifty’s ‘We Are Never Getting Back Together’, you know it’s a bad sign.
A healthy, progressive relationship should never be this drama-filled, and while completely plain sailing isn’t realistic, you should spend a LOT more time happy with each other than unhappy with each other.
Don’t let things get dysfunctional or toxic between the two of you. Getting back together once after a break is fine, but anything more than that and you’re probably not dealing with the real problems. Don’t let loneliness or uncertainty be the only factor keeping you together.
It goes without saying that sex isn’t the be all and end all of a relationship – but hey, it’s important to feel wanted, attractive and to have an actual chemistry together.
It’s something you can work on if things have just fizzled out a bit in the bedroom – but if you are just NOT attracted to your partner anymore (or vice versa) then this could be a deal breaker.
Imagine feeling that same way for years. If you stay together for the long haul without having the good stuff – or without feeling like they fancy the pants off you – would you still be happy when you’re older? Life‘s too short to be with someone who doesn’t wanna whip your undies off tbh.
We’re only human – it’s natural to find yourself fancying other people and having a liiittle bit of a perve every now and again.
But if you’re spending your days dreaming of being with someone who you have a stronger connection with, or a partner who is more fun/sensitive/connected, that could be a sign that there’s some big, fat emotional holes in your relationship.
And on a similar note, if there’s any kind of cheating involved between the two of you (unless an open relationship is something that you’ve talked about and agreed on), then it’s probably time for things to come to an end. Both of you deserve better than that.
A good ol’ row every now and again can do the world of good (let’s be honest, sometimes you’ve just got to get it all out), but arguing on the daily is absolutely not normal, and could have a hugely negative effect on your mental health and the way you think about each other.
If you or your bae are picking fights just for the sake of it, or you’re bickering more often than you’re having happy and rewarding times together, it’s really not okay.
You have to ask yourself whether it’s really worth sticking with. Is it one problem over and over that you can overcome? Or are these arguments too far gone to move on from?
It might sound like the biggest cliche going, but trust is arguably the most important part of any good, strong relationship.
If they leave you feeling like you’re going crazy with their suspicious behaviour, or if you’re fed up of them interrogating your every move, you could be facing a problem that genuinely can’t be fixed.
Always be honest and talk through your feelings with one another to try and iron out the jealousy or paranoia, but if it becomes too much and is making you unhappy then perhaps it’s time to split for good.
News flash: it’s not. We can 100 percent promise you that it’s better to be happy and alone, than unhappy and coupled up.
Staying in a relatonship just because you’re worried about being single is not only unfair on yourself, but hugely unfair on the other person who you’re supposed to love and care about.
Walking away from a comfortable relationship is always going to be scary, but you won’t grow as a person in strength or character unless you’re content in yourself. Try not to pin your entire happiness on anybody else (what if they leave you one day?), and instead work on feeling content and confident by yourself.
While being in that comforting, steady bubble of a long term relationship can be a reassuring situation, it’s important to be honest about your own happiness.
The chances are that you clicked on this article because you’ve been at least partly thinking about ending things, so if/when you come to the decision that you need to break up, trust that your feelings are the right ones.
More often than not, gut instinct is right. So take a deep breath, be honest and put yourself first with a reminder that time is the very best healer.
Words by Lucy Wood
Now that the tough love is done and dusted, how about we cheer up a bit with an unseen clip from the new Fifty Shades film? Wahey.
Source:: MTV – News